Please leave a comment on our guestbook

You are in the scripts section

Return to Index of Scripts

The Pro-Rat Vote

The House Banking and Currency Committee today voted 22 to 6 to approve a three year 40 million dollar program to attack rats on the urban front. The dispatch doesn’t specify whether the six votes against were prompted by other consideration or represented the pro-rat vote. Somebody has to care, I suppose. I don’t know how this comes under the Banking and Currency Committee exactly. Unless those rodents have been nibbling on thousand dollar bills. I suppose there is a ready explanation the way committees work in Washington. In the course of committee deliberations, the question came up as to how many rats there might be in this country. This was resolved by a sage observation from Leanard Czarnieki listed as a rat expert in the department of Housing and Urban Development. What Mr. Czarnieki said was this, “No one really knows.” Which may have fallen short of clearing the matter up but then one can’t find it to be harsh with Mr Czarnieki. How would you like to be known as the Rat Expert with the Housing and Urban Development Department and be so introduced at neighborhood soirees?

an inquisitive rat

The rat, on the whole, has been getting pretty fair publicity through the years if reckoned according to the Madison Avenue coefficient of how often mentioned on the networks. Consider how often the impersonators of the late Jimmy Cagney have said, "You dirty rat."

Authority Czarnieki figures that it will cost six dollars a head to eliminate the foe. One dollar to be used for public education, enforcement and rat extermination and five dollars for improved sanitary conditions and to prevent breeding grounds. It is difficult to conceive of anyone being opposed to this noble effort except as mentioned, those Representatives who might be fearful of losing the Rat Vote. I should like to see printed copies of the legislation posted in all sewers and frequented hangouts. And then if we can just get Evelyn Wood to teach the rats to read, we’ve got it made.